We’re eating out on Thanksgiving in Yucaipa

Written by Bob on November 19th, 2009

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YUCAIPA, CA – I’ve eaten plenty of turkey on Thanksgiving. And Like many men, I sit, I eat, I loosen my belt, and then I fall asleep. Oh, and I never fail to toss an, “atta-girl,” at my weary wife.

“Another great dinner, keep up the good work honey; you’re the best,” I say as I head for the couch for a post-dinner snooze.

But I wonder? What would happen if my wife – and wives across America – staged a sit down strike on Thanksgiving Day.

And with folded arms and a stubborn look that spelled, we aren’t budging, said: “We’ve been doing all the work for years. Now it’s your turn.”

Okay, okay, I think I can handle this.

First-things-first. I suppose I’ll have to get up extra early Thanksgiving morning and head for the hills and meadows of Yucaipa in search of Tom turkey. And hunt him down like a Pilgrim.

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No?

I’ve just been informed by my wife that now a-days we buy our turkey at the grocery store. No need to hunt, shoot and remove Mr. Tom’s head from his body, or strip him of his feathers anymore.

Great, that’s good to know, and saves us men a lot of work.

But just where do I find the turkey once I’m in the grocery store? Near the meat counter, my wife just said with a roll of her eyes, adding that if I get lost, just ask a clerk for directions.

“Hey, no need to get snippy.”

Okay, so now I’m at the turkey section. And I’m really confused. There are so many turkeys to choose from. Did you know that store-bought turkeys weigh anywhere from a few to over 40 pounds? Amazing.

And the brands. The selections are endless. There’s Butter Ball, Jennie-O, Honeysuckle White, Zacky Farms, and the stores even offer their own brands. And there’s lean turkeys and fat turkeys to choose from. And some come stuffed.

Which raises another question. How does one stuff a turkey? I’ve never been stuffed, so I have no experience to draw upon. And obviously I can’t ask Mr. Tom how to stuff himself. Or how he’d prefer to be stuffed.

This Thanksgiving turkey business is all so much work – and I haven’t even attempted the cooking part yet. I’m confused, my head is throbbing, and I’m tired.

I think I’ll take a nap.

“Honey, I have a great idea. How about WE take a break this year, and I take you out for dinner on Thanksgiving? I think that would be best for all of us.”

4 Comments so far ↓

  1. harvey m. kahn says:

    That has got to be the best looking turkey that I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen my share.

  2. Bob says:

    He looks like a big old Butterball.

  3. Lucy says:

    Did you take Nan out for Thanksgiving dinner? Sounds like a good idea. Someday maybe we’ll do that. It is alot of work. Especially the clean up. If anything, I would suggest to the men that by helping clean up (and even cutting the turkey which is a huge help!) is the best support you can give your wife on Thanksgiving. And, I know how you are, Bob. I’m sure you did help Nan. You’re a great husband.

  4. Bob says:

    HI Lucy, I would have liked to eat out, especially at Home Town Buffet, but with the family still all close by, we got together at Michelle’s, who has really taken over organizing and hosting the holiday get togethers, and she does a great job. As good or better than Nan or her mother, Agnes, did. I’m really proud of Michelle. Nan, Agnes, and Ken still do some cooking, though. Usually, I do a lot of the washing of dishes, but this year the women all seemed to insist on doing those chores, so who am I too argue? Me and Cameron, sat back and watched football and basketball. It’s such a hard life being a man… Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. Love, Bob

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